


s12e01 coda

by noxlee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 16:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8292082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxlee/pseuds/noxlee
Summary: When Sam goes missing, Cas feels like he's failed yet again. Dean sets him straight.





	

Mary is asleep in the back seat and Castiel glances over at Dean who is surprisingly calm. His shoulders are relaxed and his face open. His brow is furrowed in concentration, but there is a peculiar softness about Dean at present that Castiel finds disorienting. He recalls the other times when Sam has been missing and all of Dean’s softness had vanished to be replaced by cold, ruthless fury. Cautiously, he breaks the silence. 

“Dean?” 

“Hmm?” Dean’s eyes flick over briefly to Castiel before returning to the road.

“I’m-- glad you’re alive.” Dean grins and Castiel takes a steadying breath before continuing. 

“I’m glad you’re alive because I couldn’t--. I didn’t know--.” Castiel frowns, unsure how to put into words how shattered he had felt as he and Sam had left the graveyard. How they had trudged back to the bunker alone and Castiel had felt so many human emotions that he was never meant to have known and then just as suddenly felt nothing at all, numb from the shock of it. How he would have done any number of reckless things were it not for Sam beside him and Dean’s last request weighing heavy. Take care of Sam. Castiel looks up to meet Dean’s questioning gaze and a fresh wave of guilt washes over him. 

“I’m so sorry Dean.”

“Not your fault, buddy.”

Castiel snorts derisively. “One thing you asked of me, and I failed you. Again.” He finds that he cannot look Dean in the eye and so he looks down at his feet instead. “I will find some way to redeem myself to you again, Dean. I promise.”

Several long moments pass in silence as Castiel stares sullenly out the window. If only he had been more cautious entering the bunker. He should have known that it was compromised. If only he had acted faster. He might have been able to overtake her before she activated the sigil. If only he had—

A firm hand on his shoulder interrupts Castiel’s thoughts and reluctantly he looks over to meet Dean’s eyes at last. The simmering anger and resentment that Castiel has been expecting to boil over in Dean, that he has been bracing himself against all day, is nowhere to be seen. Dean’s gaze is soft and his eyes gentle. Concerned, even. Castiel is overcome anew at the unadulterated relief he feels to see Dean here, whole and alive. To see his green eyes and his freckles and his-- 

“Cas, you don’t have to make amends,” Dean is saying. “You don’t owe me shit.” 

Castiel squints in confusion. “Your bowel movements are—”

Dean rolls his eyes and cuts him off. “This isn’t your fault, Cas. These people, they’re not messing around. We’re gonna get Sammy back, okay? We’re gonna to get him back and everything’s going to be okay.” 

Dean squeezes his shoulder and returns his attention to the road, his hand coming to rest only inches away from Castiel’s own. Castiel stares at Dean’s hand for a long time before he reaches out tentatively, his index finger lightly grazing Dean’s palm. Dean doesn’t move his hand away, and Castiel thinks to himself that perhaps everything will be okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fairly new to Supernatural and brand new to writing. Aside from years of writing essays, this is the first creative thing I've written, though with practice I hope to write more. I'm open to constructive criticism and welcome feedback of any sort!


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